Why do men need to be the biggest prick you’ve ever been with?
Ooops. I meant to ask – Why do men need to possess the biggest prick you’ve ever played with?
This conversation started with an email I recently received from one of my oldest best friends: “Okay…so I have an article I want you to write “Large & in Charge…or are you?” Basically, I want to know why MANY men have this ego thing going on that they just HAVE to be the largest man you’ve ever been with. What is up with that!? How would they know they are large?? How many penises have they seen?”
Since I’m a self-respecting graduate of an all-girls Catholic school (along with the email’s author) –I did NOT dally around town asking men about the number of penises they’ve encountered. Instead, I utilized my prim and proper training to ask a dozen dudes, “Why is it so important to possess the biggest penis your wo(man’s)ever experienced?”
Today’s first lesson may surprise you: Guys who dig guys don’t have the same hang-ups about penis size as men who want women. As it turns out, players who prefer penis pleasure don’t always seek a super-sized banana. Some like to push their penis into others and some prefer a penis pushed into them. Some like it both ways. This makes perfect sense because the whole homosexual thing wouldn’t really work out if everyone preferred one particular pathway.
Every now and again, men who don’t like a penis pushed into their anus allow for penile insertion purely to please a partner’s passionate plea. Now imagine sharing shoes with someone who wishes for anything except a penis in their anus, but agrees to insertion in order to please a partner. Does that clarify why some men prefer a partner who’s smaller in size?
Dudes who like ladies are different. They’re pretty preoccupied with how their organ measures up to past penises. Every straight man who answered my question said in one way or another that it was important to feel like they were the biggest. Despite this overwhelming consensus, not one man could explain exactly why they felt that way.
A man who can’t explain his feelings? Shocking.
“It just is,” said a single, twenty-something at Piola’s near Lincoln road. While sipping one (or two) of the best caipirinhas on the beach, I told him that, “it just is” isn’t really an explanation (his girlfriend can thank me later) and then I asked him to expand. “You just don’t want to think she’s been with some huge guy and is thinking about him while she’s with you.” We talked more and I tried to boost his ego by pointing out that she probably has been with some huge guy in the past but really likes her current sex situation better. I think he really enjoyed our conversation.
Over brunch at Nikki Beach, the discussion continued with a single doctor looking for love, “It’s like the modern-day equivalent to being with a virgin. You already know she’s been with other guys but you want to feel like you’re the biggest and the best one.” That’s an enlightening (non) explanation.
“What’s important is making your partner feel good,” said an attorney waiting for his food at Joe’s Stone Crabs. “Maybe some women have seen too many dicks to make their man feel good.” Ouch.
Good thing us prim and proper gals don’t take things personally. Actually, the guy at Joe’s ended up being really nice, and since everyone loves taking about sex, we continued conversing for awhile. He eloquently expressed that men need to feel like strong leaders and it would be valuable for women to work on indulging the male ego in the bedroom. He summarized his perspective with, “How would it benefit a woman to tell her man he’s not the biggest she’s ever had?”
I agree that all egos should be stroked in the sack. Especially the male one. Because it is more fragile than a female’s ego and it appears to be directly associated with how a man feels about his member.
My Penis and Everyone Else’s is a documentary by Lawrence Barraclaugh that deals with men’s obsession with their organ and their inability to talk about it. The movie starts by providing examples of how men have evolved, yet, “there’s one issue men still can’t talk about: the size of their dicks. Lots of men are hiding some serious insecurities about the size of their penis.”
The next scene features an expert stating, “Men tend to define themselves by the size of their penis. They sort of merge the two things -myself and my cock.” The movie aims to make men more comfortable with their size by pointing out that most men are not that big. Lawrence openly admits that his film was inspired by his small penis. As was his first movie, My Penis and I, which documents his doctor visits while he explored penile enlargement procedures.
Both films give worthy insight into the rocky relationship between men and their member and emphasize the same point: Men are really, really sensitive about their size and women should do everything possible to portray that the penis she’s dealing with is perfectly-sized for her.
Using the right words can boost his ego by way of his penis. I’ve listed some examples to consider using or modifying next time you’re in an encouraging situation.
1) You make me feel things I’ve never felt before!
2) It’s such a perfect fit!
3) Your ________ fills me up!
4) You do things I’ve never experienced!
5) You make my _________ feel so _____ good.
6) Your ______ makes me crazy!
7) I love you inside of me.
It feels so good, I love it!
9) You’re so big – I wonder what it would like to go even bigger! Let’s try a girth-enhancing sleeve – I was always scared before but I want to try everything with you! (lol…its all in the mind)
10) I’m come, come, coming!
The point is to make your guy feel good about his goods. Men can’t provide a logical explanation for their organ obsession but women can two things to make them feel bigger and better: 1) stroke their ego where it really counts by using some of the phrases above –and maybe even more important, 2) kegels, kegels, kegels!